Friday, October 04, 2002

I can't stands no more!

This guy is a real piece of work. The little critters living in his hair had pushed him too far so he threw a rag soaked in alcohol on his head and lit it with a cigarette. He is now in critical condition. If you ask me, he was in critical condition before this happened. Once again this great story is brought to you by the fabulous state of Wisconsin.
Come to Wisconsin! Smell our Dairy Air!

For those of you that think Wisconsin is a quiet, wonderful, little slice of Americana, aparantly these teens didn't know about it. A cute little boy threw an egg at a man's house. After this, the man caught him and spanked him. The cute little boy, feeling adventurous, gathered a group of up to twenty little scamps and led them back to the house where they proceded to beat the man to death with shovels, baseball bats, and rakes. How adorable. They have caught eleven of the little rascals ranging in age from 10-18. All but the ten year old are being charged as adults and may serve up to 40 years. Sounds good to me.

Wednesday, October 02, 2002

Reparations Have Started in the Ex-Great City of Chicago

The city council has unanimously(may require registration) agreed to require all businesses in the city to disclose all earnings they may have had from slavery. This is an obvious first step in giving that money to the great-great-great granchildren of slaves. I only hope that after they get their damned money, they never bitch about anything ever again. We're even!
Laws No Longer Apply to the Subject They Are Intended to Apply To!

The New Jersey supreme court ruling seems to imply that laws no longer apply in this country. I can just see people capping people and then saying, "No... see, the laws against murder don't apply to murder! What were you thinking???" I'm moving to Togo. Try and stop me.
Who am I?

A visitor has suggested that I let y'all know a little bit about me. I think that is a great idea but have always found doing this to be an enormous undertaking. Being that I'll never get across the true core of my being, I'll start with the demographics and see where that takes us.

My birth name is Chris Anderson, a name so common that it might as well be made up. For those of you in doubt, I am male. I have been male my whole life, I like it, and I think I'm going to stick with it. I'll let you know if I change my mind. I am also white as the cast of Friends. I've heard that being a white male makes you priviledged and I would appreciate it if you let my boss know because it is clear that no one told him.

Other physical characteristics are my Height : 6' 3" (1 12/13th Meters) Weight: Skinny.

I live in the very heart of fly-over country. Actually, I doubt much of anything actually flies over here except traffic between Chicago and Milwaukee and I'm pretty sure they dodge out over Lake Michigan to avoid any dullness they may extend up to 30,000 feet of altitude. I know that was a run-on sentence. Don't change the subject.

I dropped out of college for very stupid reasons and have learned why going to college is good in the first place. It allows you to avoid making cold calls to Houston area golf courses to ask who their General Manager is. I hate cold calls. Well, at least I have a shiny five word title but I'm pretty sure it just means "bitch-boy."

I'm not religious but I'd love to hear about yours. I think that people should earn what they have, and that people shouldn't have to give up what they earn so lazy people can be lazy. I believe that the world can be divided into two groups, those who divide things into two groups and those that don't. I've never been to any other country except Canada but I've seen an awful lot of this one. I'm up to 42/50 states. Sorry, North and South Carolina, Alabama, New Hampshire, Vermont, Maine, and the freak states. You know who you are. I believe that the biggest problem of my generation is it doesn't have a goal and I blame the mass of elder leftist statesman who keep blocking any attempt at unity and effectiveness. My generation is crippled by political correctness and moral relativism. I fear that my rational voice will be drowned out in the next twenty years and I'll be working on a collective farm in Idaho before I die.

I don't know. There is much much more and I'll let you in on it when I figure out how to put words to abstracts.

War Out!